#alienadventures: How do you solve a problem like Malema? (apologies to Rodgers & Hammerstein) #ANCYL

To mark Julius Malema’s Waterloo, and in sympathy with the powers that be who are trying to impose some discipline within the ranks of the ANCYL, I’ve come up with my own version of “How to you solve a problem like Maria?” from The Sound of Music.

This is my South African version. Just sing the song, but replace with the lyrics below.

[With sincere apologies to Rodgers And Hammerstein]

How do you solve a problem like Malema?
Does the talk of nationalisation makes you frown?
How do you find the words that define Malema?
A tenderpreneur? The voice of the youth? A clown?

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
How can he afford the Beitling on his hand?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Malema?
How do I get a tender in my hands?

When I’m with him I’m confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
His reputation’s tough as leather
He’s a darling! He’s a demon! A sacrificial lamb?

He’ll outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
He throws back his Johnnie in just one slurp
He is gentle! He is wild!
He’s a riddle! He’s no child!
He’s a headache! He’s a saviour!
He’s a lad!

How do you solve a problem like Malema?
How d’you find the patience when he makes you frown?
How do you find the words that define Malema?
A demagogue? The voice of the youth? A clown?

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
Why does the trust fund feel so underhand?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Malema?
How do I get that tender in my hands?

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Comments
One Response to “#alienadventures: How do you solve a problem like Malema? (apologies to Rodgers & Hammerstein) #ANCYL”
  1. Arthur Song. says:

    Hi Dion,
    I loved this blog.
    You’re a futurist and a poet,
    and I guess you do know it.

    Regards,
    Arthur.

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